the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
