One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
