Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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