Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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