My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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