I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize