I need help removing her.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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