By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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