Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
