If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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