barbara walters just said penis...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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