home. puking in laundry basket.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
