The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
