I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
