Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
