Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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