I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
