they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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