I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My pussy is not your playground.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
