How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
