I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
