doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
