Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
