And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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