im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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