Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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