dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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