i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
