When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
