So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
