For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
