I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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