Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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