Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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