did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
