Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
