that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
