so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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