I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
