i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize