so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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