He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
