i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
