and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
