Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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