lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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