YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
