I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
