we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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