oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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