forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
