He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
