where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
