I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just blew my weed a kiss
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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