to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
not ubering you a puppy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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