In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize