So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
