he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
