i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
