So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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