I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you traded sex for a burrito?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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