using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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